Strange Things Happen

Hello there!!!

Ain't you just being spoilt. It is indeed another blog all the way from Cambodia. Why so soon I hear you cry? Well these past 3 days I have had so many interesting things happen so I thought I would tell all my little bleeders about it!

After I last blogged I ended up heading out to the 'Love Bar' in the evening. The Love bar is the bar that is owned by the owners of the hostel that I am staying in and as such it is pretty much the go-to place after the bar here shuts. It was a ok crowd in there. Lots of very good looking women (westerners this time who didn't want to take my money) and I worked my magic on all of none of them (I don't know why but my 'road sign' chat up line just isn't cutting the mustard here).

At about 1am it was decided (not by me) that some dancing was on the cards and I was informed that the Pontoon night club was the place to go. The Pontoon, the place that makes Soho look like Emmerdale. I was in two minds weather I should go or not but the call of beautiful women convinced me that I might have a chance with some (and apparently snow was forcasted at Lucifer's house!).

We walked in and it was worse than last time. I didn't think tat was possible either but it was. There was a drag act on the stage who was miming quite well. The issue she/he had was that she was miming in Cambodia, the backing track was in English. I gave her her dues though and stayed for a bit longer. The next 'act' (I use that in a very loose term) was Cambodias answer to Diversity. It was very refreshing to see that the band didn't discriminate at all when they put the 3 guy dancers together. They didn't discriminate on any factors, the major one being ability. I felt a little bad for them, they quite obviously needed the work out as they were on the 'rotund' side! This was the crap dance act the broke the camels back. I had enough and no amount of good looking women could keep me here.

This is where the evening got weird. On my way out I caught the end of two English guys conversation. This is what I heard ' . . . . . . . . yea, I couldn't believe it, it looked just like the ex Chelsea manager'. For any of you readers who frequent the night-life in your respected countries I am sure that you have heard many conversations, and many strange ones. But personally I have never heard anything like that. I didn't hang around to listen further as Cambodian Diveristy were just about to break out a Michael Jackson song and I got the feeling Bubbles might be involved. I walked through the entrance corridor and past the VIP room. The VIP room had glass doors and as I looked in (don't ask me why) looking back at me was the one and only Avram Grant! Yes, there sat on a barstool, surrounded by two of the biggest bodyguard I have seen was the only manager in Premiership history to be relegated with two different clubs. Now some people could say (and they have) that it was just a look-a-like, or that I am making this whole story up. Firstly, all the signs pointed to it being him, including the fact that there was shed-loads of blacked out Lexus parkes out the front. Oh, and the small fact that IT LOOKED 100% LIKE HIM! Secondly, IF I was making this up, Avram Grant, really? I would have picked a far sexier celebrity than him. I have done a little research and it would appear that Mr. Grant was 'accused' of having some fun with some Thai ladies a few years ago. I rest my case!

I then was laid up in bed for the next few days. It would seem that my fragile stomach decided to punch me internally from the inside at random points. This was probably because I had subjected it to all different foods since I have been here and he wasn't happy about it. My lower intestines decided also to join the 'lets mess with Tom's body party' and as such my 'stools' weren't the norm.

Before I continue with this blog I will just warn you that I feel that I need to get a little graphic from now. If you are eating your soggy wheat-a-bix you may want to continue reading later.

I havn't mentioned the toilet procedure since I have been here. Mainly because I forgot last blog. Basically the sewer system over here is not what we westerners are used to. You can't flush paper down the loo. Instead of the usual '1 up, 1 down and 1 to polish' routine that we have all been brought up with in every bathroom is a 'bum gun'. After you have done what you need to do, you then need to spray a high powered hose around the affected 'area'. After this you then used a small amount of paper to 'polish' and pop it in a little bin next to the loo. Now, this seems like a pretty shit (sorry, had to 'drop one' in this paragraph) way of doing things, but it was explained to me by one local like this. 'If you get poo on your face, would you wipe it off or wash it off?' Again, case closed. - and it feels pretty good aswell!

I went to the Killing fields and the S-21 prison yesterday. I will never do it any justice by writing about it on here. If you want to hear about it, ask me when I am back. If you are just a reader of this blog and you don't know me in the 'real world' - It was harrowing.

Heading the Siem Reip tomorrow to see some temples and stuff!

Adios

T
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