Interlude.

Okay, I know that the title isn't a song title. There is a reason for this that I will come onto in a moment.

Yes I am still alive. That is all you will ever hear from me about my trip throughout the South Island. The reason for that is that I have been doing a lot of thinking whilst driving around and I have decided that I would like one part of my travels to be just for me. Now don't get me wrong, I love blogging and I love you little bleeders too, but I want something that is just for me, and my trip in Scully the Spaceship is just that. Now maybe when I get back home I will share some tales with my friends and family, but sorry bleeders, not on here.

The reason that I have not put a song title in this post is because it isn't going to be a usual post. As mentioned above, it won't be describing my tales and adventures. Its just a few of my thoughts that I have had along the way that I want to put down.

So, reflection time. I am pretty much at the halfway point. I came from the U.K. having had no job and at a crossroads in my life. I thought that travelling would let me get a little perspective on my life and the direction that I want it to go in. Well it has kinda done the job, but it has also asked a lot more questions. I think that I have found out more about myself as a person than what I actually want.

When I get back home I have a lot of choices as to what job I want to go back to. I could go back into retail and try to work my way up in the management side of the industry, I could go back down to the holiday parks and re-ignite my career as a sound/light technician or I could do something else entirely, like emigrate!

I suppose that I would prefer it if I didn't have the choice. It is great to be able to pick and chose what you want to do in life however I am going to be 27 (nearly) when these battered feet tread on British soil again and it really is time to start looking towards the future. I suppose I know what I don't want to become, that is a sad lonely man who has nothing to show for his life, and if I don't get a career or a plan sorted sharpish then that is what I will become.

The thought of going back to the holiday parks really does excite me. I think that I am looking at my 3 years that I spent on them with rose tinted glasses. I don't really remember any bad times (and I know there was loads). It isn't the sensible thing to do though. There really isn't a career in it and see above paragraph as to what the probable outcome will be if i venture down that road.

Emigrating, WOW. There is a prospect. I suppose the obvious option would be to move over here, to New Zealand. I have a contact (in the form of my cousin), they are nice people and it is fairly simple to get a working visa for here. BUT - (and that is a big but), I don't really want to move away from the U.K. Its crazy I know, because those who know me know that I have no loyalty to the U.K., Britain, England, Wales or wherever. I do miss home. Not my family (I miss them, but considering half of my family live outside the U.K. they are not the factor in question here) I do miss the U.K. itself. I miss the street signs, I miss the traffic lights, I miss the decent beer, I miss the supermarkets. It has made me realise more about me as a person. There are some people who like to experience new things, see new sights and go on adventures. Then there are people like me, I am up for new sights, adventures and the rest of that malarky but when it comes down to it, I like my home. I NEVER EVER thought I would be that sort of person. And in someways I am a little pissed off that I am.

Which brings us to retail. I love working in retail, I love managing people and I (not blowing my own trumpet) think I am pretty good at it. It came to me on a walk that I did today (yes, I have been walking, I will share that with you guys). I suppose what I really want to get out of my life (that sound crap, but its the best I can do at the moment) is what most people already have and what a lot of them didn't have a choice over. I want a stable job, a nice house and a family. I am a very lucky man because I have had a experience that has allowed me to make the decision and know that is what I really want. Hardly anyone gets that. Most people who go travelling (I have discovered) are the first type of people I talked about. You don't get many travellers in group B.

Reading it all back it probably looks as if I am depressed and not having a good time. I am not going to lie, at first when I went on this voyage of discovery, yes I was depressed. But now I just feel like it is all part of the experience. Just for me the experience has bee a whole other kettle of fish as to what most people have. I have discovered so much about myself in the past 3 months it is unreal, and I will not be sharing with you all of my discovery's. Also I have just noticed that it seems that I will definitely be going into retail when I get back. I wont, nothing in this life is gaurenteed. Its what I want to do, but what we want and what is on offer are two TOTALLY different things.

It is in my mindset to think too much about things, it is something that many ex's of mine have picked up on. All this time alone doesn't exactly help the situation either. So sorry for my little ramble, but you know, if you don't like it. . . . . . . . . you see that little 'x' in the top corner of your screen, click that!

I am having fun and the travelling and adventures will continue, after all I paid enough for it and the book isn't going to write itself!

I may end up in Oz, Cambodia &/or Vietnam, meet the woman of my dreams and this post will mean as much as the Queens Jubliee did to me!

Would be good to hear you thoughts on this - tom@tomswayround.com is where you will find me. We have had our first view from Moldova! WooHoo!

Rant over, I promise.

Next post, normal service will be resumed, promise.

T
x